I got you!
We’re stuck in the middle of another election cycle, and the candidates are selling themselves to the voters whose votes these candidates lust for. I abhor the communication process during election season. Why? Because I hate lies!
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not an ethics expert. I’m not a shrink. I don’t know much about psychology other than the obvious stuff. But, when it comes to lying, it’s the most despicable act a person can undertake. Why? Lying is not a singular action.
There are always at least two people involved in lying. However, only one person knows the truth about the process: who is lying and what the truth is. That means someone is going to get “smoked.”
Lying at our house when I was young was the cardinal sin. I went outside and picked my switch for Mom to use on me for lying numerous times! If she told me once, she told me hundreds of times after her use of that switch on my rear: “That hurt me far more than it hurt you.” Somehow, though she was the most honest person I ever knew, I never thought her switching me hurt her.
I’m a Christian. I believe the Bible is God’s Word and is full of answers to the greatest questions we will ever have. In that context, how could anyone who calls themself “a Christian” profess that and then lie — and sometimes lie often?
I’m not a Bible scholar, either. But I understand that Christianity comes with a set of questions about life—as many as we can possibly imagine. Thankfully, though, it comes with answers to all those questions, including this one: “Is it OK to lie?”
What does the Bible say about that question?
- Proverbs 12:22 “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
- Colossians 3:9: “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.”
- Proverbs 19:9 “A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.”
- Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
- Psalm 34:13 “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”
- Proverbs 14:5 “An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.”
- John 8:44 “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
I could keep going. There are at least twenty additional verses regarding lying.
Why This Topic Today? People Lie Every Day
That’s a great question — especially in light of the above reference to “election season.”
“Let the lying begin!”
Let’s set aside for a moment the Biblical admonition against lies and concentrate on the pragmatic realities that accompany lies in election season. After 50+ years of paying attention to elections at every level, lying seems to be accepted as an intrinsic part of elections themselves. I wonder who started that ideology? That really doesn’t matter. Then what does matter?
It is impossible to make an educated choice of candidates or other election items without knowing the absolute truth.
Knowing the “absolute truth” has become an impossible pipe dream because of the acceptance of lying.
The introduction of the governor of Minnesota as Vice President Kamala Harris’s running mate in the November election immediately flooded the U.S. news world because Governor Tim Walz lied about his military service. Worse, he began lying about it publicly years ago, continued to lie about it, and even embellished the lies over and over during the past few years.
The media is having a field day with the story. Here’s an example:
The Harris 2024 campaign was unable to explain why Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D) falsely claimed to be “in war” or address any of the stolen valor accusations plaguing the new Democrat vice presidential nominee for the past two days.
Since Vice President Kamala Harris (D) unveiled Walz as her running mate on Tuesday, Walz has been dogged by false claims he has made throughout his political career that misrepresent his military career.
Walz served for 24 years in the Army National Guard but never deployed to war or in combat. He retired as a master sergeant in 2005, shortly before his unit deployed to Iraq.
However, he has claimed on multiple occasions that he is a retired sergeant major—a higher rank than he ultimately achieved—and has falsely suggested that he went to war.
He repeated that false suggestion in a video clip put out by the Harris campaign itself. In the video clip, Walz claims he carried weapons “in war.”
He also falsely claimed in the video he served 25 years when he actually served 24 years and one month.
There are also accusations by veterans who served with Walz that he — as the top enlisted soldier in his unit — abandoned them right as they were preparing to deploy to Iraq at the peak of the war.
Needless to say, this story has taken on a life of its own. It continues to expose even more details by the hour, which confirms again and again that the Governor told a whopper and kept embellishing it.
Apparently, many people DO feel it’s OK to lie. It’s become such an important issue in relationships of all kinds that so-called experts are writing books explaining a “Lie” philosophy! That in itself is hard enough to believe. But there are books and videos galore that not only encourage people to lie, they’ve created a manual that explains how to do it best! Take a look for yourself:
Honesty Isn’t Always the Best Policy in Relationships. Here’s When Experts Say It Might Be Better to Lie
You were probably taught never to lie. Your parents likely preached the power of the truth, and your partner told you honesty matters most.
However, researchers say there is a lot we get wrong about deception, truth-telling, and trust—and that, if mastered, lying the right way can actually help build connections, trust, and businesses. “I believe that we should be teaching our kids, students, and employees when and how to lie,” says Maurice Schweitzer, a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, who studies deception and trust.
You’re more likely to be lied to (and told to lie) than you even realize, too—think of scenarios like your mom reminding you to tell your grandmother you enjoyed her meal or you giving feedback to a co-worker that doesn’t capture the whole truth.
Still, the art of deception is more nuanced than you might think. Here are five scenarios where fibbing might be the best course of action, according to experts.
If you have someone’s best interests at heart
There are classic examples of lying that are detrimental, and the most damaging lies tend to promote one’s own self-interests at the expense of others.
However, research shows that “prosocial” lies—fibs intended to benefit others—can actually build trust.
“People’s primary interest, at least when they receive information and build trust, is in benevolence,” says Emma E. Levine, an assistant professor of behavioral science at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business, who studies honesty and trust. “People care about whether you have good intentions a lot more than whether the person is being honest per se.”
Just remember: Lies are most beneficial when they’re not selfish. If you tell your partner he or she looks great before a date to boost his or her self-esteem, that’s one thing, Schweitzer says. But saying it just to get your loved one out the door because you’re already late, he says, is where your motive can veer into selfish territory.
If there’s no time to change
Say your partner asks you how he or she looks right before walking on stage for a speaking event or enquires about what you think of the speech just prior to reaching the podium. Even if you notice a stain on his or her outfit or think the speech could use work, think about whether the person has the time to react to the information and control the situation, says Levine.
If there’s nothing your partner can do to improve or make a change at that moment, you might welcome deception, she says. Lying, in this sense, is likely seen as benefitting the other person because there’s truly nothing he or she can do in the moment.
Conversely, if your significant other is able to react to the information, honesty is the better choice, Levine says.
If you’re giving constructive criticism
Honesty is important when sharing feedback. While it’s easy to use “I’m just being honest” as an excuse for “just being mean,” says Schweitzer, brutal honesty isn’t always the most effective way to get your message across.
Instead of telling a low-performing employee that he’s performing terribly, consider saying something like, “You’ve had a rocky start, but everyone struggles at the beginning,” then segueing into constructive criticism, says Schweitzer. Your feedback will likely be received better, which in turn will benefit your business in the long run.
Right before a special occasion
The debate over lying is not only about whether honest information can help the situation but also whether that information is delivered at the right time. “One thing people care about is whether honest information will distract them from something important,” says Levine.
An example: You hear your friend’s company is expecting layoffs right before she leaves for her wedding. Should you tell her?
“In these situations, people tend to appreciate withholding the truth until later,” says Levine.
It comes back to the idea of control—if your friend is about to leave for her wedding or honeymoon, she won’t be in a position to preemptively explore other job opportunities. And while every situation is different, consider asking yourself whether honesty in a situation like this would truly benefit the other person—or simply be a distraction, according to Levine.
If you’re not close with the person
Mild and well-intentioned deception can be even more beneficial in distant relationships, says Levine. “In more competitive relationships or first interactions, honesty is a lot more precarious, can damage relationships and reduce trust,” she says. That’s because both parties are less familiar with the other person’s true intentions, and they might wonder if this person is trying to undermine me.
Still, if you’re inclined to give honest feedback to a more distant acquaintance or a friend of a friend, Levine suggests providing the truth coupled with benevolence—something along the lines of, I really want you to do well, so I’m giving you this criticism.
Close relationships, on the other hand, can give way to more of an appreciation for honesty, she says, and confessing to friends is likely not as bad as you think. “We systematically overestimate how uncomfortable truth-telling will be,” Levine says.
Summary
The saddest thing about this commentary and any others about lying is that no matter how often and how seriously we discuss lying, we’ll never reach a conclusion that satisfies everyone. There are too many “variables” that people use to demand the right to lie, as illustrated in the above commentary.
Who hasn’t ever told “a little white lie?” Heck, what IS a “little white lie?” Here’s a typical example of one:
A man sitting in the den hears the phone ring in the kitchen. His wife answers the phone and tells him it’s a friend who needs to speak to him. The man whispers to his wife, “Tell them I’m not here!”
After she lied to the caller and hung up, she jumped on her husband for lying. The man responded, “You really didn’t lie when you told them that I wasn’t here. Technically, I wasn’t ‘here.’ You were in the kitchen, and I was in the den. That’s technically not a lie!”
The facts about truth and lying are actually very simple. It’s not so much what is said that creates issues. It’s why the liar actually told the lie! But either way, a lie is exactly like the truth in one simple way: a lie exists in a vacuum, too.
No matter how the lie is presented or how it’s worded, it’s either a lie or a fact. And at least one of the parties to this conversation knows the true answer!
For me, truth comes down to this, and ONLY this: I am a Christian and believe and practice to my best abilities, keeping the charges given to us from the Bible. The seven scriptures listed above are just a sampling of discussions about lying in the Bible.
Wouldn’t it be great if we never had to question a word that anyone says? How could that happen? It would take more than one miracle! It would take many. For me, I’m trying hard to keep the truth in my conversations today as never before. Think about this: when your practice is to always tell the truth, you will never be stuck trying to answer this question: “What lie did I tell this guy the last time he asked me a question about it?”
That should give each of us pause. If we need any additional certainty of the importance of truth, wanting to NOT hurt others should be a sufficient reason for “truthing” 24/7!
Tell the truth, and you’ll never need to fret about answering ANY question!
I read your news report everyday I can, because it’s the ‘Truth News Network’. Thanks Dan!
Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot coming from my Arkansas brother I haven’t seen forever!