Let’s take a break from “serious” and snicker today!
I ride Harleys. In fact I have piled up the miles. From my earring from Montreal to riding Pacific Coast Hwy from San Francisco to Santa Barbara, I have ridden all over North America. I play golf, too. And I’m an “old golfer.” Today, let’s laugh together at two funnies: a Blind Cowboy in a Blonde Biker Bar and an Old Golfer.
Blind Cowboy in an All-Girl Biker Bar
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake…
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
“Now, think about it seriously, cowboy…Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, “No…not if I’m going to have to explain it five times…”
The Old Golfer
An older golfer was chipping his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”
The golfer replied that his club had fallen into water, and he needed the club to win the tournament to supplement his meager pension. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club.
“Is this your club?” the Lord asked. The golfer replied, “No.” The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. “Is this your club?” the Lord asked. Again, the golfer replied, “No.” The Lord went down again and came up with an iron club. “Is this your club?” the Lord asked. The golfer replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the golfer’s honesty and gave him all three clubs to keep, and the golfer went home happy.
Sometime later the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?” “Oh Lord, my woman has fallen into the water!” The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kate Upton. “Is this your woman?” the Lord asked. “Yes,” cried the golfer. The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!” The golfer replied, “Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Kate Upton, You would have come up with Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am an old man not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve, that’s why I said yes to Kate Upton.”
And God was pleased.
The moral of this story is: If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honorable reason, and only out of consideration for others!