Weekend Life Lessons

Lesson #1

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager were walking to lunch when they found an antique oil lamp. They rubbed it and a Genie popped out. The Genie said, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” said the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She disappeared.
“Me next! Me next!” said the sales rep. ” I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”
Puff! He disappeared.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie said to the manager. The manager said, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson #2

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?” The eagle answered, “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson #3

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull poop might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson #4

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who poops on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of poop is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep poop, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Note: Feel free to share. Enjoy!

Dan


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