Funny of the Week: Part II

I need to laugh more.  You need to laugh more.  We all have too much seriousness in our lives.  So let’s laugh a little.  At least once a week I’ll post here a “Funny of the Week.”  I’ll start by drawing from my significant collection through many years of looking for funny jokes and stories.  Please feel free to send me yours and we’ll all share in topical, timely, and CLEAN funnies.  All of us need a good chuckle as often as possible.  None of us laugh enough.  Let’s all laugh together.  Heck, maybe we’ll turn this into a contest!  Reply with your funny in the comments section and keep watching for the “Funny of the Week!”

Enjoy!

A  guy was driving rural Alabama and he saw a sign in front of a tired old house with lots of deferred maintenance: ‘Talking Dog For Sale .”  He rang the bell and the owner appeared and told him the dog was in the backyard.
The guy went into the backyard and saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

”You talk?” he asked the dog. ”Yep,” the Lab replied.  After the guy recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he asked ”So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looked up and said, ”Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so… I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”

The lab continued, ”I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running…but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
  
I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy was amazed. He went back in and asked the owner what he wanted for the dog.
‘Ten dollars,” the guy said.
‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he lies more than Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and Senator Elizabeth Warren combined; He’s never been out of the back yard.”

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