Sunday Chuckles

There is so much rancor and ugliness being thrown about it seems everywhere in the U.S. Let’s take a little time to just have a laugh or two together. Laughter really IS good medicine.

We’ll get back to business this week — and there’s PLENTY of business to get back to! Enjoy.

An Old Golfer

An older golfer was chipping his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”
The golfer replied that his club had fallen into water, and he needed the club to win the tournament to supplement his meager pension.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club.
“Is this your club?” the Lord asked. The golfer replied, “No.
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. “Is this your
club?” the Lord asked.  Again, the golfer replied, “No.”
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron  club. “Is this your
club?” the Lord asked. The golfer replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the golfer’s honesty and gave him all three
clubs to keep, and the golfer went home happy.
Sometime later the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again
appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”
“Oh Lord, my woman has fallen into the water!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kate Upton. “Is
this your woman?” the Lord asked.
“Yes,” cried the golfer. The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”
The golfer replied, “Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding.  You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Kate Upton, You would have come up with
Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am an old man not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve, that’s why I said yes to Kate Upton.”
And God was pleased.
The moral of this story is:  If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honorable reason, and only out of consideration for others!

The King and the Meteorologist

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.  The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing.  On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace!  In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard.  He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.  He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky.  The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.  Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting.  I obtain my information from my donkey.  If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.” So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.


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